HotFlash!

I Watch Bizarre TV Show So You Don't Have To

As yet another service of the HotFlashChick blog, I submit, for your consideration, a few of the odd and amazing things I view on TV (now that they fixed the goddam cable) on a (somewhat) regular basis. These are my favorites this week:

The Runaway Bride Special With Katie Couric - Oh My God...what drek! As much as a bottom feeder as I am, I couldn't tolerate more that 9 minutes of this program. Let me summarize those painful 9 minutes for you: 2 God-Squaders, one of whom obviously has some serious head issues, get together with Katie to talk about how unstable they are, and how badly they cope with everyday life. Katie is 45, but she wants to be the hot little thang that she was when she was 25. (Now that's a serious journalist...)  She fails miserably. The Runaway Bride is stupid and sad. And her fiance is comatose. And I almost went blind...

Cooking Under Fire - This is a PBS reality cooking show. Ming Tsai (aka: Ming The Merciless in my household), Todd English (fancy-schmancy New Yawk Restaurant Guy) and Michael Ruhlman (Big Time Food Guy Wannabe) lead 12 hopeful newbies thru a trial of fire in the professional cooking biz. The prize is getting a Chefs-Ship (?) at one of Mr. English's New Yawk restaurants. Go to PBS.ORG if you're dying for details, and then dial it up on the ol' boob tube on Wednesday nights. It's only a waste of 30 minutes of your life, and it's fun to see what a jerk Ming is, and how talented the remaining newbies are. Mr. English looks like he can whip up a pretty decent breakfast (if you like scrambled eggs and crab cakes, which I do...) Recommended viewing...

The Wacky Alaska Guy - Sadly, you won't ever be able to see this program, since it was part of the absolutely  pathetic pledge drive that the local PBS station (WTTW - We're Truly Truly Weak) put on last week. But it was stunning! It was the story of a guy from Iowa who decided to drop out of sophisticated Iowa Society, pack it up, and move to the Alaskan Wilderness in 1963. The man was amazing. He bought a little spot next to an Alaskan River, cut down a bunch of trees, hand built a cabin (all by himself), foraged for food and water, AND managed to film a lot of the process / progress on a little camera he put on a tripod. He was friggin Superman! AND he lived on his little homestead until he was 83 (which was in 2002...)

The documentary felt a lot like that garbage movie stuff they fed us in grammar school in the '60's. And that's why I and my Sweet Hunge were totally mesmerized by it. I turned my next door neighbor onto it, and she told all of the other neighbors, so everybody on my block got to watch the "encore" presentation of this amazing documentary when it aired last Sunday. A good time was had by all.

I think that three bizarre programs are enough to share with you at one time. I'll be back soon with more amazing TV viewing recommendations. Stay tuned!

Life In The 'Burbs VS. Life In The City

This comparison is mostly for my own edification. The blog gives me an excuse to list out the pros and cons so I can convince myself that I made the right choice. Bear with me...

City/Pro: Walk to shopping, great restaurants, parks, ample public trans to art, theater, baseball games, museums, bigger parks, greater restaurants

City/Con: You have to walk or take public trans, because EVERYBODY now owns at least 2 cars, and you're competing with car-crazed suburbanites, for the 9 parking spots that still exist.

Suburban /Pro: Walk to park

Suburban/Con: Drive everywhere, ample parking, but since there are no great restaurants, parks, art, theater, baseball games, or museums, what's the point?

City/Con: Noisy, but interesting

Suburban: Quiet, but boring

City/Con: Neighbors...build big fences, cuz most of them will be nuts

Suburban: Neighbors...no need for fences, cuz most of them are wonderful

Oh, geez, this hasn't really helped at all...need to think about it more...

It MUST Be Spring....

Back "in the day" (a phrase I truely despise, but seems appropriate far too often recently..) I was quite the Social Butterfly. Really. I had so many social obligations to fill that I actually NEEDED a date book...

Once I turned 35 and finally sobered up, those social opportunites seemed a little less important. So I stopped concentrating on them and got busy with my career (which was a total mistake, but that's another BLOG entry..) Funny thing...once you stop looking for social opportunities, they sorta stop making themselves available. Which was fine at the time. I was otherwise engaged.

Fast forward to now. I'm so out of the habit of looking for things to do in my spare time that it amazes me when I get inundated with invitations. And that's what's happened this week.

Suddenly, I've got friends coming in from out-of-town, former co-workers that want to congregate and chat about old times, and I'm being solicited to join a couple of seriously social groups that meet regularly and actually do stuff. Like good deeds, and community service, and all of the things that I think are important (but have never been very seriously involved with).

What did I DO to suddenly become this popular? Nothing that I'm aware of. It must be SPRING, and everybody in the Midwest has decided that their event it not complete without me. And it's not cold outside anymore.

I think that the improvement in weather probably has more to do with this than my magnetic personality. But then again, maybe I still have some of that old Magic...

Hope SPRINGS eternal....

Creating Your Own Springtime Reality

I have empowered myself to create my own Springtime!

Sadly, I have no actual power over the wretched March weather here in the Great Midwest. But I do have a few greenback dollars. And my baby sister is in town with nothing to do on this weekend. She may not be aware of this yet, but both she and I will be attending the annual Chicago Flower and Garden Show at Navy Pier this Sunday.

I have never attended this event before. I understand that it is glorious. The venue is completely temperature controlled (indoors, obviously), and jammed with all manner of flowering annuals and perienials, sod, and yard and patio doo-dads and jymcracks. Several tons of soil, plants, flotsam, jetsam and such are turned into a virtual summer day inside one of the exhibit halls as a tonic for winter-weary midwesterners with credit cards.

COUNT ME IN!

The Baby Sis has a digital camera. Tune in later for fab fotos of our adventure into springtime foliage.

I'm Baaaaaaaaaaak!

OK, it's time to face the music. I'm back, and I promise to give you, my faithful reader, an update of my sorry lot in life at least once a week.

I haven't written because it's Winter In The Midwest. This is the time of year that those descended of the true pioneers just hunker down and drink vodka and wait for Spring. Out of respect for my ancestors, I have done just that (and come up with a pretty satisfactory Bloody Mary, if I do say so myself.....)

Anyway, here's what's been going on in my life since shortly before Christmas:

• I got a great haircut for 20 bucks, and found a hairdresser that I think I can live with. Sadly, that was the introductory price, so from now on, I'll be paying full freight.
• I had a wonderful Christmas! My favorite gifts were the refurbished Dressy Bessy and Dapper Dan dolls my Mom gave me, and the beautiful Christmas scrapbook from my sister. My nephew gifted me with homemade strawberry jelly, which was fabulous. I also got booze. It's come in handy..
• My DBF (Dear Boyfriend, aka: My Hunge) gave me a huge check that I used to have my sofa, club chair and ottoman recovered. The couch is done, and it's gorgeous. The chair and it's companion are being picked up for refurbishment this weekend.
• The plumbing went south several weeks ago, making for several very uncomfortable days at Casa HotFlashChick, but all is well now, and hopefully will be for many decades. I found a wonderful, if not too bright, plumber named Wally. He is a wizard.

The good news is that February is over, as is the 1st week of March. Spring is probably only 2 months away. Perhaps. I currently crave July.

Rejoice!

Things That You Can Learn From 6 Year Olds

My last post ended with the lament that I felt smarter when I was 6 than I do currently. Since I've had some time to think this over, I've come up with some things I believed when I was 6 that I think that I should put into practice now:

School (or Work) is over at 3:15 (or 5:00) - It's Time To Play! - Go out and kick a ball around. Bug your siblings. Torment your neighbor. TV is not allowed before dinner! Do your homework, but otherwise, don't think about school (work) until tomorrow morning. But you are allowed to bug your siblings at all times. It relieves stress.

Vegetables Are A Fact Of Life - eat lots, and learn to deal with it. Occasionally, you get a shot at an eclair. Go for it, but only occasionally. You appreciate it more that way.

Save Your Allowance - always a good way to live. All of those quarters add up over time.

Take Time To Do Exciting Things - Take the bus downtown. Go to a museum by yourself. See lots of movies.

Hang Out With Fun People - These are people who are smart and funny and are kind. Not ones that brag and/or smell.

Get Your Hair Cut Regularly - Your Mom will like you better and you will too.

Read Lots Of Books - You will improve your vocabulary, and feel like you took a vacation at the same time. New worlds will open up, and you'll find things to disagree with as well. Which is certainly more interesting that agreeing with everything all the time.

It's OK To Bitch And Moan - Especially if people are requesting / expecting you to do things that you're not very interested in doing. Be polite, and make the necessary excuses, but don't waste a lot of time. Don't do things that you don't want to do.

There's so much more to explore here. I'm still re-learning how to be 6. Bear with me.

Taking The Cure (Part II)

I am a News Junkie.

There, I said it in public.

I tune into the local news at 6:00 AM everyday. I tune into the 6:00 PM news every night. I get my fix at work via the internet. I get flash updates from CNN in my personal email. And I get them from the Chicago Tribune too.

I am happy to report that this election season, as repugnant as it has been, has served a useful purpose. It has cured me of my News Addiction!

Apparently, there's something to be said for aversion therapy. I've discovered that if you keep getting hammered over the head with endless blathering about Mr. Bush being tough, and Mr. Kerry being, well, just himself, you eventually get so repulsed that your Disgusting TV News Gene kicks in and saves you. This proves that evolution is wonderful, and that you are pre-programmed for self-preservation, regardless of the bad things that you are addicted to.

(Hey, maybe this would work for beer and cigarettes as well...naaaaah...)

Getting back to my point, I am cured! (Or at least, recovering...)

For the past week, I haven't turned on the television until 8:00 PM (CST), and when I do, I only watch PBS, Turner Classic Movies, and the Weather Channel (OK, sometimes I sneak in a precious few moments of the Food Channel and E!...we're still working on the Food Obsession gene and The Sleaze gene...) Quite frankly, I'm feeling a lot better about life in general right now.

I know that I can't avoid the news FOREVER. I will still need to catch the odd local traffic report in the future, or dip in and find out how many tiny children have been horribly abused by their family and/or neighbors (it's Un-American not to, right?). I also have to keep tabs on the wacky antics of England's Royal Family (but I can probably catch most of that on PBS and E!)

And, here's a concept, with all of the free time I'll gain by not being electronically tethered to TV or Internet News, maybe I'll start reading BOOKS again...

Why is it that you are brilliant when you are 6 years old, and then you have to wait till you're 50 to get smart again?

Sure Cure For The Election Day Blues

Hey Kids...

Instead of worrying about sending our sons and daughters to their sure death in Iraq, losing hair over our floundering economy, or whacking out about the Flu vaccine shortage, LET'S PUT ON A SHOW!

We all find our own ways to cope. I've found mine. Totally life affirming. Two words. Broadway Musicals!

Tonight On Turner Classic Movies:

My Fair Lady - you just missed it, and it was WONDERFUL. Why had I forgotten how sexy Rex Harrison was, and how clever the lyrics were to all of the songs? Audrey was wonderful, although I think that Julie Andrews would probably have been better cast. The costumes were great. I sang along with the TV for 2 of the best hours I've spent at home in several weeks.

West Side Story - It's on RIGHT NOW! For my money, the best musical ever...For those of you who never lived in a dense packed urban environment, it's just entertainment. For me, it takes me back to my highschool years, complete with the Puerto Rican conflict....except that we all wore better gym shoes, and nobody sang or danced as well...

The Current PBS Historical Thing That Aired On PBS Last Week - recommended viewing. It gives you the consumate history of Musical Theater, and has soooo many good clips!

The list of wonderful musicals goes on and on...Oklahoma, Sound Of Music, The Unsinkable Molly Brown, Carosel, The Producers, Evita, Phantom Of The Opera, etc.

I'm going to bed tonight humming a show tune. You should too. Really. It helps.

This Week's Odd Thoughts

Here they are, in no particular order:

Procrastination: I am a born procrastinator. I will die one too. (Unless I can manage to put it off.) I need to stop feeling guilty about it and move on. Maybe I’ll try that next week.

Dreams: I’ve had some odd ones recently. (I’m convinced that Estrogen is Mother Nature’s little female hallucinogen…) Last night I dreamed that I was invited to a reception at The White House. When I got there, ol’ Georgie B. himself greeted me personally under the portico. Sadly, I couldn’t get past security, because I’d forgotten my driver’s license. George tried to vouch for me, but the Secret Service guys were having none of it. So I went back to my hotel to get it. On my way back to the White House to hook up with my buddy George, a bus splashed me, (all decked out in fabulous and sparkly formal attire I might add), with mud. So I had to go back to the hotel again and change. Luckily I’d packed a spare evening gown. I managed to get back to the portico, where George was waiting patiently for me, but since I’d missed the dinner, I decided to just go home. I shudder to think how a qualified analyst would interpret that one.

How Much I Miss Ricardo, My Cleaning Guy – I let him go when I decided to become a Plant Lady, as part of my prudent effort to save money. Since my Sweet Hunge and I are now banging into 10 foot dust bunnies and having trouble seeing over the piles of newspaper, I now realize the gravity of this move. Maybe I’ll get a part-time job, just so I can afford to hear the dulcet tones of Ricardo’s vacuum cleaner once again.

How Much Republicans Just Give Me A Cramp – I am totally done with watching Mr. Bush smirk, and Alan Keyes (the insane, carpet bagging, Republican candidate for the Illinois US Senate seat) foam at the mouth about how we all need to love The Little Baby Jesus. November 2 can’t come soon enough for me.

How Glad I Am That I Never Became A Parent – As bizarre as my life is sometimes, at least I do not currently have to deal with a spoiled, arrogant, foolish, lazy, manipulative, materialistic, mean spirited, disrespectful, scumbag of a 15 year old son. Whew, now I feel better.

How Tired I Am Of Pretending to Care about People Who Create Their Own Hassles, And Expect Others to Deal with the Aftermath of Their Grandiose Decisions - No need to elaborate here. Whew, (again), now I feel better…

How Much I Hate Working On Saturday – Sadly, tomorrow I need to. For the second week in a row. Why is it that I can make even a menial clerical job into a project? And I did it to myself. I am now the Official Christmas Coordinator. This means I know how to create a spreadsheet. And maintain one. On the upside, at least this year, the customers that get their Christmas Décor from the branch I work at will get reindeer instead of menorahs. Thanks to my little spreadsheets. So I’ll be making Christmas a little merrier for the folks that walk thru a few dozen Godless Corporate atriums. That’s worth it. Right? Right.

Thanksgiving – I need a new roasting pan, and a list of the things that I know I’m thankful for. I’ll be working on that for the next post.

Photoshop Rocks!

Here's my first completed Photoshop project...this is so much fun!