HotFlash!

Amazing Mail

I get the wackiest mail.

Today brought a letter from a gentleman with the same last name as mine (it's a common name...same name as a fabulous luxury car...altho now that P. Diddy Puff Daddy Dingo Baby What-Iz-Name owns one, I should probably change it to Mercedes..) advising me that he's doing DNA research to determine WHICH William Luxury-Car-Surname ancestor we all descend from. And he's tracing paternal lineage through markers on the Y chromasome. So only Luxury-Car-Surname Guys need apply. The letter to me was addressed to "Mr. HotFlashChick Luxury-Car-Surname"...

I am the family genealogist, and I agree that we have far too many Williams from Way-Back-Land to sort out. About 10 years ago, I happened upon a self-published family history done by a distant cousin in Southern Illinois that appeared to be the key to my confusion. I bought the book. I embraced it. I was happy and serene in the knowledge that the family tree had been accurately reconstructed, and my assistance was no longer necessary. Now it appears that there are some questions regarding the research (due to no fault of the author...) There were JUST TOO MANY Williams to sort out.

And, having no Y chromosome material at hand, I AM USELESS in sorting this mess out. This sucks! What about mitochondrial DNA? The stuff you get from your Mom? The powerhouse of the cell! Why isn't THIS STUFF useful in the investigation? In this case, apparently it isn't...and I'm so bummed...

I'll be forwarding the letter I got requesting Y chromosome data to my male relatives, and put all of the pressure on them. And they'll read it, have a beer, and forget all about it.

In the immortal words of Tammy Wynette, ..."sometimes it hard to be a woman...."

The Annual Family Christmas Shopping Trip

Every year my mother insists that I, as well as each one of my siblings, accompany her on a Christmas Shopping Trip to pick out gifts for ourselves.

I think that this tradition started in 1970. The reason that I remember this date so well is that I clearly recollect how badly  I reacted to the gifts I got from my parents at Christmas, 1969.

I was a highschool freshman that year. I'd asked my parents for a new shirt and some jewelry, and what I got was (in my 13 year-old brain anyway) the most hideous and thoughtless bunch of gifts that any hormone-crazed pubescent girl ever received for Christmas. And I let EVERYBODY know it. Loudly. After that, Mom decided that the only safe way to avoid a repeat performance of my Holiday Hystryonics was to establish the Shopping Day Tradition. 34 years later, we're still doing it. Today was the big day.

The thing that makes this annual trip more difficult every year is that, as I grow older, my need for stuff diminishes. I love the fact that Mom wants to get me something that I really want, but I really don't want or need anything. What I'd prefer is that we just wander an upscale mall, window shop, and go out for a nice lunch/dinner, and not focus on WHAT I WANT.

I'm happy to announce that we kind of did that today. My sister and her 15-year-old son joined us. And a reasonably good time was had by all. Here are the highlights:

• We had breakfast at the new IHOP (International House Of Pancakes) that just went up in a strip mall near where I live. Where I understand that chowing at the IHOP does not exactly qualify as upscale dining, I am happy to report that the cheese blintzes with strawberry jam and sour cream as just as good now as they were when I was in college (of course in college, the blintzes were consumed at 3 in the morning after a night of drunken debauchery...which does add a bit of flavor...)
• I found a new place to get my hair cut. Where this does not, on the surface, seem like a great accomplishment, I have been struggling with hair maintenance lately. As I reported earlier, I found the scumbag who owned my former favorite hair place several months ago, and he did a wonderful job. Unfortunately, I hate him. As much as I need a haircut, and some serious colorwork right now, the thought of going back to him, GENIUS that he is, was just too much to bear. Now I have an appointment to at least trim up the mess that is currently on my head. It will give me time to plan my next hair move.
• The hairdresser is located at an outlet that also sells my favorite makeup, fragrances, bath stuff, etc. My Christmas gift from Mom will be a gift certificate for this place. I love that we found one one-stop-shopping, and solved my Christmas Gift dilema at the same time. Oh, Happy Happy Joy Joy!
• We had dinner at a new Italian place near the makeup/foo-juice/hair emporium. And it was wonderful. The food was great, and the waitstaff turned me on to a new way to really enjoy great tiramisu...have it with a tiny glass of sherry. Awesome.

The worst part of The Holidays is over for me...now I can just hang out and be merry...

Thanksgiving - And So it Begins...

The Holidays, that is...always a time of mixed blessings.

My topic of concern tonight is Thanksgiving. My all-time favorite holiday. When it goes well. Which rarely happens, but when it does, it's wonderful. We had a good time last year. I fear that this year I won't.

Reasons That I Love Thanksgiving:

* It gives you an official reason to actually take a few minutes out of your hectic schedule to consider all of the good reasons that you are happy that you are alive, well, living on this planet, in this country, and in this century. This is a good thing.

* It gives you an official reason to consider all of the people in your family, and take time out of your hectic schedule to consider how much you treasure them. and all of the ways (positive and negative) that they impact your life. This can be a good thing. Sometimes it's not. Let's concentrate on the good things for the moment.

* The food that is traditionally served is your favorite stuff. Turkey, dressing (or stuffing - your choice), starchy tubers, gravy, and cranberries (ooooooh, I love cranberries). It's the only time of the year that you CRAVE pumpkin. This is all good.

Things that I Don't like about Thanksgiving:

* The fact that our family is getting smaller all of the time. This year we won't have any nephews joining us (one has his own independent life, and one is spending his holiday with his Dad and paternal grandparents, due to a recent divorce in the family). A beloved sister has moved to sunnier climes, and is no longer going to be here to share in the celebration. My Hunge (DBF, Sweet Baboo, Significant Other) is not welcomed at official family celebrations where my mother is in attendance. (Long story..)

* My current abode is simply too small and too disorganized to host the event, regardless of the warring factions that would be invited. Which makes it impossible anyway, so I'm going to stop beating myself up about it.

* We don't have enough strays (beloved friend that are be-rift of family here) to invite to ease the tension. (OK, I know that's a lousy reason to invite friends for Thanksgiving, but it's the truth...) Regardless of venue.

My Thanksgiving Solution:

This year I am going to politely suggest that we (the 4 of us) just go out to dinner. I need to find a restaurant that understands that some families  just can't establish or maintain the appropriate Thanksgiving Dinner Guest quota. But I'd still like it to be a meal that's festive and happy and gives us all reason to give thanks. I have to believe that in a city of 3 million people that a place like that exists.

And has parking....